Excuse me Mr. McGillivray; do you have a minute so I can show you something?

Excuse me Mr. McGillivray; do you have a minute so I can show you something?

I love it when you take your car in to have the oil changed. When you pull the car into the bay, they (The mechanic  or future Ponzi scheme artist) ask “how can I help you”? I tell him “ I would like to get my oil changed”  I hand him the keys, he takes down some basic information, name.. etc. and instructs me to have a seat in his nasty waiting room. OK, I head to the waiting room with a coffee maker that looks like it was brand new in 1982. I don’t drink coffee and this experience probably has a little to do with it.  As I sit there waiting for them to complete the oil change; after approximately 3-4 minutes, the door opens “Excuse me Mr. McGillivray; do you have a minute so I can show you something?”

It never fails,  “sir it looks like your wiper blades are dirty or your air filter has dirt on it or my trunk needs to be vacuumed”. They show you pictures of what a bad air filter is or how a clean trunk should look like and make you feel like you are neglecting your car and jeopardizing your life and the lives of all others on the road. I came for a freaking $27.00 oil change and he has a proposal for $150.00 dollars’ worth of critical maintenance issues that I must do.  I am in sales, he’s just upselling, I should cut him some slack……. WHATEVEH!!

Recently, I have had some numbness in my hands and I decided to see a chiropractor. There was a local Chiropractor that had a booth set up at an event my youngest son was attending so I am all for supporting the local guy. I make an appointment and when I show up at the clinic they ask me how they can help me. HMMM !  I tell them my numbness concerns and that I need an adjustment. They say “OK no problem”. They give me a tour of the place (Nice touch) and then bring me in a room for a series of xrays that left me glowing.  They then send me home and make another appointment for me to come back so the doctor can treat me…Did I miss something?  I say OK, I am not sure why but I make an appointment for the next day. I arrive, they request my Insurance card which I am happy I have. They make a copy and then ask me to have a seat. 3 or 4 minutes of waiting and..“Excuse me Mr. McGillivray; do you have a minute so I can show you something?”

Dejavu….. They bring me in this room where there are pictures in the office of skeletals   on the wall showing some poor bastard who had screws put in his neck. Then my xrays are on display digitally with all kinds of markings.  The doctor came in and he proceeded to tell me all the things wrong with my spine, ribs, neck and ass bone and then he showed me a form where he circled the number of treatments I would need. Option “a” was 10-15, Option “b” was 25-40 option “c” admitting me for 5 years.  By the time he was done telling me how bad I was, I felt like calling a priest to issue me “Last Rights” I came in because my fingers were numb and thought I needed an adjustment. This guy wants to complete some kind of chiropractic exorcism.  The best is yet to come. He sends in the lady who will close the deal, the finance lady who will go over the cost of the program and the insurance coverage etc.

This lady comes in and in begins to tell me about how the doctor is going to fix me. She then says that some patients come in and their issues are very serious and they end up spending over 50k to be treated. It’s expensive but they are healthy again, she then say’s thank God your case is not that bad (In sales we call this “price conditioning)”. She states that the cost of my treatment is $3,499 and after insurance my cost is $3,499. I stated is that a mistake? She continued to inform me that the insurance that I have that I pay weekly and dearly for doesn’t cover chiropractic/massages/or oil changes. I guess Obama never needed an adjustment.  So I state that this is great however I will need to go over this treatment and cost with my wife. Then without missing a beat …the big “deal” is put on the table…If you commit today, we will discount this service 15%. Are you freaking kidding me, I was waiting for her to include a set of encyclopedias. I told her I could not commit today and after telling her this she realized that her closing techniques were not working ….. she brought me over to the treatment room where the doctor bent me over and adjusted me!