Another Notch

Another notch in my belt!

On that late Friday afternoon, as Brian wrote out his confession across the hall in the conference room, while in my office, with his head leaning over looking dismayed, Brian’s supervisor who was a vice president with the company said “This is unbelievable,this is huge. What do we do now?”  I was feeling great. This case was big  and I knew everyone was going to hear about it. As a corporate security professional, I was driven to get the confession but I was always compassionate towards the employees who were in the hot seat. Feeling confident yet concerned, I explained to the VP that this guy was in trouble, he was going to be federally indicted and that I needed to show him “A little light” The VP asked “What do you mean?”  I replied “That this guy lives on the other side of Boston, the last thing we want is for him to panic on his way home pull off at the Tobin and jump”. (For those who are not familiar with the Tobin Bridge in Boston, it is an old bridge that connects Boston to Chelsea and the north shoah. It has a pretty big drop of over 135ft. Most who jump from this bridge don’t live to talk about it..I want to let him know that he should come clean with his wife and that I will tell the judge that he was cooperative and that he will get through this.

My training and years or making it up as I went along were again about to be tested. I was good with that challenge though. I had the notches in my belt that proved I could get the confession. During the interrogation, I did what I have always done.  I was direct, sincere and made sure that he knew I was in his corner.  But was I?The corporate mission of course was to identify fraud/theft schemes and to implement processes and procedures to prevent fraud and theft throughout the corporation. If you happen to be an investigator though, then you know it’s also about the “notch”.

This was a big case. Certainly one of the biggest I had ever worked on. I knew once word of Brian’s admission got out, the rumors would spread like wildfire.  The case was solid, I got the confessions using all my training and expertise, followed all the rules and it was biggah than we imagined.  I almost couldn’t believe it myself.  I felt bad for this guy because I knew exactly how it all started and why.  That was the toughest part of this whole investigation for me.  He was a good guy.  I would have a beer with him.  A good sense of humor, a hard workah and a loving husband…. That was it right there…  the main reason for all this. He loved his wife and wanted to impress her.  It was that simple.  He bought the corporate house that she deserved, the Land Rover that she dreamed of and at the end of the month the numbers just weren’t adding up.

On Monday morning, I arrived early as always, I wanted to make this trophy day last forever. As I entered my office, turned the computer on, removed the orange from my bag so I didn’t forget to eat it and then there was the blinking light on my phone. I enter my code to get my messages assuming it was an inquisitive co-worker wanting to hear the scoop.  “Hey Scott, “its Dan” who was Brian’s immediate supervisor, just wanted you to know that I received a call that earlier this afternoon (Friday), Brian pulled his car over on the top of the Tobin Bridge and jumped. I guess some fisherman saw him and Brian is now at Mass General Hospital. I will let you know if I hear anything”

Stunned, I walked over and shut my door and then just sat in my chair feeling completely overwhelmed and confused. Is this real? I didn’t know what to do? Who to call. I just kept thinking of the last words I said to Brian “Go home , be honest with your wife, she loves you and will support you” I then asked him, “Are you OK? “ And he replied convincingly “Yes” I was so full of myself and how I was selling him…. he sold me. I never saw it coming. On that Friday afternoon, 1/2 and hour after Brian left the conference room, I was (internally) beating my chest covertly boasting about my latest notch and Brian was standing on the ledge of the Tobin committing to plummeting his errors into Boston Hahbor.

What could he have been thinking on that Friday afternoon, staring down over the 135ft drop to the water’s surface? What was he thinking while he was falling to his presumed death? What was he thinking his pregnant wife would do without him? If you brought the law enforcement experts in and had them review the case from beginning to end, they would say it was a great case.  They would say I followed all the rules, they would say it was a great notch…

How could tragedy be so easy? I could layout in a flow chart when and where the deception and fraud began and correlating it to the fact that he did this because he loved his wife was easy. It was the “Snow Ball effect” however I doubt that any snowball ever caused such personal devastation. Over the weekend, I was full of myself, this was a big notch and I couldn’t wait to return to work on Monday and now as I sat in my chair and I couldn’t wait for the day to end…what just happened?.

I always think of Brian and how little it took for one person to do so much damage. Whenever I drive over the bridge or see it on tv watching The Walburgers, I think of what he must have been thinking when he was approaching the bridge, pulling his car over, climbing the rail and getting ready to jump. How long did he stand on the edge before committing to his ultimate surrender? I keep thinking I would have had a beer with him, he was a good guy who simply loved his wife. I know my commitment to the company was always spot on and I truly always cared about the subjects of my investigations but did my quest to add another notch interfere with my corporate responsibilities? Did it interfere with my moral responsibilities…. I honestly don’t believe so however I have learned that once there is a notch it cannot be erased. I think about Brian often and pray for him and his family.