The worst decision I make weekly… Ovah Easy!
In a 24 hour period, a hen will squint her eyes and let it rip. Drop a poop or as my son says a” dukie” protected in a shell and bob her head as if to say, look at what I just dropped…. And we can’t eat it fast enough. All ovah the world, we eat hen shit aka “eggs.” If you ask me, eggs are one of the most disgusting things on the menu.
Last week, while in Atlanta, I was at a 4 stah breakfast restaurant…I would like to know how they earned 4 stahs. They are cooking eggs for the love of Christ! I decided to order a couple eggs “ovah easy.” What the hell was I thinking? I wanted to be healthy. Eat some protein and stay away from the French toast, Waffles and the dreaded Pancakes…all of which I could suck down right now as I write this blog. But then as I looked around in this four stah restaurant , I noticed statues and pictures of chickens and eggs and thought, why would anyone eat here never mind rate it 4 stahs? 
I kept thinking of that white smeggma on the egg yolk that I see every time I crack a chicken poop to eat at home…what the hell is that white smeggma? I looked it up…It is some type of anchor system that holds the yolk to “The center of the thick white”..The thick white what?
Yep, “Ovah Easy” let’s make sure the yoke (Whatevah a yoke is) is runny and not cooked…That way I can sop it up with one of the 4 slices of bread on the side of my Hungry man’s breakfast. God forbid I leave any of that yellow runny yoke left on my plate….. I should have had the Pancakes…probably less cals over all! Unless of course I add some chocolate chips to the mix.
Maybe I should have ordered them to be cooked differently. Let’s review our options kids
- Ovah Easy – Make sure the eggs are runny and barely cooked. I guess it’s like ordering a “Rare” steak and make sure it still bleeding.
- Ovah Medium – let’s take that above nightmare and lets delay it 30 seconds…
- Ovah Hahhhd – you gonna take that egg and flip it til the yoke stahts to hahden like dog shit in the snow
- Hahd soft and medium boiled…what’s the difference? it still came out of a hens ass.
- Omlet – where they disguise the disgusting egg with some healthy shit they throw in the midst of it and makes you feel like you are eating healthy…sure, you have your veggies for the day but you still ate Chicken poop!
- Then my favorite. Sunny Side Up! – The definition is an egg that looks like a bright morning sun. I would rather crack the sun into a glass and suck them down Rocky style.
Who was the first neanderthal to suggest that they grab the big oval poop that the chicken just shit out, put it ovah a fire and eat it and how did that work out?
My wife is constantly trying to get me and the kids to eat healthy…No Frosted Flakes (Tom Brady say’s they’re poison) no Donuts because they take 3 days to digest…maybe the slower we digest things the bettah and have you evah seen that Boston Cream donut,…but instead let’s have some chicken shit for breakfast…lots of protein! 
diary of a PB 